Not meant for city living

I grew up in Toronto, Canada. I was raised in the downtown area and for the first 11 years of my life, I was very happy. When I got to my teenage years, however, I had trouble going to sleep at night, and worse trouble waking up in the morning. I dropped out of high school at age 14, and I couldn’t handle the stress of big city life. Especially, the big school. 

I had severe mental depression which lasted until about age 19. 

Later on, after I moved to Minnesota I really suffered a lot of culture shock. I made the stupid mistake of marrying too young. The decision was largely based on wanting to get out of the big city, and away from home.
At the time, little did I know, I was jumping from the frying pan into the fire! 

I never knew there were so many petty minds that would sabotage all my dreams. 

Because I lacked clarity, a cheer team, a solid financial foundation, and practical wisdom, I failed on many counts.

Needless to say, the depression returned, in spades. I was led to becoming self-destructive. I was doing crazy things, in a foolish cry for attention!

When I look back at the choices I made, I observe the roller coaster pattern of my life and I could not have it any other way. It all had to do with both my genetics and my environment.

I encountered good and evil people in my life. The good people were not all good and the bad people were not all bad. 

Living here today in small-town America, I rejoice.

I reflect on those city days, the overstimulation, the envy, the greed, the sadness, and my mind’s obsession with the self. 

I cannot say I am entirely free of stress, but living out here has lessened my stress immensely. 

When I’m out in the country, looking at the vast acreage with admiration and awe, I feel very much like a cowgirl on the range. 

There is something so satisfying in spacious places. Something that cannot be found in the cement blocks of the downtown area where I grew up.

As the song goes,

“Give me land, lots of land, under Starry skies above, Don’t Fence Me In.”

Decision to darken my hair

It’s been a few years since I’ve had darker hair. I’ve been blonde for many, many years and I keep going back to blonde hair.

Part of it had to do with a book I read about looking years younger by Joan Rivers. She wrote as you get older your hair should get lighter.

I took it to heart. So I was platinum blonde, burning off the ends of my hair, so it wouldn’t grow long like it used to be when I had my natural color.

It was time for a reset. What is bleach, but a burning peroxide that breaks off the ends of your hair.

Nevertheless, I’d been bleaching my hair for years and years. However, I want to grow my hair long, and bleaching your hair does not help in the quest.

In trying to get my hair to grow back to its natural color, I chose not to cut it all off down to the quick.

I’ve even had friends that shave their head completely to grow back their natural hair. That is not me. I did not want to sacrifice the length, so I sacrificed the color, instead.

Surprisingly, one person said that I look younger with this new hair colour closer to my own.

Although, I miss my old blonde hair, at least I know now I will be able to grow it down to my shoulders with it’s natural Ash colour, with a few highlights. As much as I like hair extensions, or as you can see above, a Wiglet of blonde, I prefer natural, long, beautiful hair.

I wear hair extensions, and I find them fun, but they are also hot and itchy. 

My desire is to grow my natural hair long, and the only way to save my scalp and my hair follicles, is to take a break from all the bleach.

Fiendish Fame

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Recently I was a victim of a criminal act. Somebody broke the hatch of my truck trying to break in. They also damaged my tail lights and scratched up the body of my pickup. I told people about it on my Facebook page. I was pretty upset. But do people really have to know about this? I had to ask myself why I felt compelled to tell others about it.

Child endangerment, animal cruelty, deadly risks, disgusting images, foul language, criminal behavior: these are just a few things I see on my Facebook and Twitter page as I scroll through the feeds. What’s it all about?

People desire the gift of Fame. Yes it is a gift. The gift that we give is our attention. People pay attention to the unusual, the strange and the bizarre.

Other people put those things up or share those things, but why?

Disturbing images are disturbing. We don’t need that in our world. Reality is disturbing enough.

Often these images make people more callous to others suffering. I block all those things as soon as they crop up. I unfriend those who like to get their jollies scaring people and upsetting them.

I don’t want to be an ostrich with my head in the sand, I know evil exists.

This doesn’t mean that I care to engage with it or pay attention to it. I hope people wise up and try to look for the good in life instead of only wickedness.

Be friends with your brain!

No matter what you think, you need your brain!

The brain is the frontier that most people think of when they think of the most intricate part of the human body. The human brain is more intricate than any Swiss watch or man-made computer. We did not have to pay for this brain, it was a gift to us at birth, with all the other priceless gifts that we have that make up our human body including our heart, and lungs, and life.
When you hear about a lot of suicides in the news, and lots of depression, and mental diseases that get people to the ER, the problems can go back to problems with their brain.

I no longer watch TV before bed. I’ve decided to make my brain my best friend. That means preventing it from turning against me. The brain needs nurturing with healthy food and drink, lots of laughter, and lots of rest.

Too often, people abuse their brain by not getting enough sleep. This world we live in is full of distractions. This world can cause people to get so weary, they kill each other on the roads because they fall asleep behind the wheel, or else they are not well-rested enough to focus on their driving.

Besides doing other people harm, they often do themselves harm because they have not had enough sleep, or not had good enough sleep.

When people’s brains turn against them, you often see people turn to drugs and drink to try and straighten things out. Faulty reasoning takes over.

Take care of that marvelous piece of machinery your brain, and your brain will take care of you!

Who cares?

Dont be the hydrant if you can be top dog, is the attitude of many these days!

Nobody seems to mind nowadays what authority has to say. It seems that skepticism has taken root in the lowliest to the loftiest.

All bets are off where trust comes into play. The only real word given, or accepted, is the one backed up with legalise.

There is no way to make someone budge excepting threats from the long arm of the law!

What’s going on? Has the world lost it’s innocence? Apparently so.

Now I’d venture to confess that in spite of good intentions, things sometimes go awry. If you really care, genuine sincerity must be backed up with covering your rear.

Use good sense. 

Honestly, the world has changed, so don’t be naive, be wise.

Who cares? Depends on the subject and the person. 

I hate to say it, but nobody cares unless they have something to gain from caring, or if they are your mom.

Mom’s care.

Just remember to be careful.

Undervalued Intelligent Employees

Something I discovered while out shopping today is that some employees in retail should value themselves better. It’s not that their employers don’t appreciate them, it’s that the employee who is intelligent is not reaching out for a higher, loftier, and probably better paying position.
Granted, some people are the perfect fit for their job. Their job doesn’t call for a lot of brain work, and that’s probably good enough for them. They probably live paycheck-to-paycheck, or else they’re just clocking in time for the people contact, or some other reason.

However, when you encounter a man or a woman who is too large for their position, you kind of feel sorry for them. You think to yourself, this person with an exacting mind and a high polish does not belong here. It would be better for them to use their practical mind in some other way more beneficial to the world.

Then again, some people enjoy selling socks. Maybe that’s as far as they’ll go in life. Maybe they put their intelligent energy in running a happy home, or maybe someone has not alerted them to the fact that life could be much more fulfilling to them if they reach out for a better job.

You may be a brainiac, but nobody will speak up for you.

If you think you deserve a whole lot better than you’re getting; if people admire you for your intelligence, and all the while you’re just doing scut work for low pay, well that’s okay for your employer and customers, but is that okay for you?

We need more ambition in our lives. This ambition means defining your dream and playing to your strengths, otherwise you will always be stuck at slave wages, doing the bidding of less intelligent people than you.

Consumer and Creator

I have a day off. This morning I made eggs, black beans, brown rice and black coffee. Afterwards, I rehearsed some songs with my husband for an upcoming gig.

The way I live is spending my life doing what I love. Years ago I had an idea the way I wanted my future to be. I never expected stuff to get so bad for so many years

Expecting can be a trap. What do you know about the future when you are young?

My biggest disappointments have always been the results of false expectations.

Experience is different from expectations.

Life means making a future for yourself and not fighting your reality.

What happens to you depends on so many factors, including personal faults and the opinions of family and friends.

Of course the media contributes to personal discontent and disappointments too.

I needed to experience a lot of pain before I woke up to reality and realized all the cards I had been dealt to me, could be turned to my advantage with the right attitude.
If it is to be, it is up to me, was the mantra that changed my life.

I really love to see my dreams fulfilled. Many of them have come true for me. Many are coming true, but it has taken effort, daily effort on my part to expect little and let go of the fear of failure. Temporary hardship can yield fantastic results.

One foot in front of the other.

Keep on keeping on!

Musically yours,

Amy Zents